Curiosity as an Act of Love: A Monthly Love Letter Reflection

There is a quiet generosity in being curious about another person. In a world where we often rush to share our own stories, choosing to pause, ask, and truly listen may be one of the simplest ways we help someone feel heard, seen, and understood.

I was reminded of this recently at a dinner party where I knew very few people. The conversation was warm and lively, yet I drove home realizing no one had asked me a single question about myself. It wasn’t that I wanted attention. I simply longed for someone to wonder who I was.

The writer David Brooks says, “the way we attend to others determines the kind of person we become. If we see people generously, we will become generous, or if we view them coldly, we will become cold.” In other words what you give attention to, grows.

That evening reminded me that curiosity may be one of the quietest expressions of love.

When we ask thoughtful, open questions and listen with genuine interest, listen to understand the other rather than to make a point, we tell another person, Your story matters.

Scott Shigeoka, author of Seek, describes curiosity as an antidote to disconnection. When we approach others with openness instead of certainty, we create space for trust, empathy, and belonging. Curiosity reminds us that every person we meet carries a story we have yet to discover.

Again, David Brooks, in his essay The Moral Power of Curiosity, reminds us that curiosity is more than a social skill—it is a moral practice. When we choose to become genuinely interested in another person’s life, we move beyond ourselves and honor their humanity.

This month, I’m left with one question: Am I curious enough about others?

Perhaps love doesn’t begin with having the right words.

Perhaps it begins with a question.